>> PROF CAROL SMART: Our research is about.donor conception..However, as part of the research project,.I'm particularly interested in what happens.if arrangements go wrong between donors and.recipients..So I’ve been looking at a number of legal.cases that have been in the papers of late,.and in particular I'm going to be looking.at instances where it's a known donor, and.where what is donated is sperm..So what I'm going to be talking about doesn't.affect anybody who's received donor gametes.through a clinic, and is actually quite different,.too, for somebody who may have received an.egg..The main problem is how much involvement should.the donor have in the lives of a child or.children that are subsequently born..This is the key issue..Very often, couples get together when they're.planning this, and they may say 'We want a.donor who is going to be like an uncle, or.like a family friend, or even a father figure'..Now these are terms that are in everyday usage.of course..But the problem can be that people have very.different understandings of what an uncle.does or should do, or what a father figure.means..What also seems to happen is that people's.feelings change..In other words, once the child is born, notwithstanding.the fact somebody said 'I'll just be a father.figure', they may feel quite differently about.it when they actually see the baby..And life changes things as well, and sometimes.people forget that there are grandparents.involved as well, and they may want some kind.of involvement..Or indeed, something may happen to somebody..A partner may die for example..Then at that point, the idea of having a closer.bond to a child that is your genetic child.may arise..Unfortunately, although these are the sorts.of events that life throws at one, it can.feel like a betrayal..What judges are coming round to thinking is.that couples have a proper written contract..Now, the idea of a written contract is quite.important because it does actually allow you.to think through whether you both do agree.that somebody who is an 'uncle' has staying.contact or not, and you can sort that out.at an early stage..What a contract will do is say: five or ten.years on, when maybe conflict has occurred,.it will tell the judge what you had in mind.at the time you were agreeing to this..But I do want to underline: it isn't going.to necessarily be what a judge will decide.should happen..What a judge is going to say is 'What is in.the best interests of the child?'.So you can write a contract, but it isn't.going to be legally binding in that form..It just shows what you intended..The other thing I think is really, really,.important to recognise is that no matter what.you put in a contract, you can't, in English.law, write the donor out of the whole deal,.because in English law, the sperm donor, if.they're known, is basically the legal father.of the child..So from our research, we've now spoken to.a number of people who have had known donors,.known sperm donors..It has been really interesting to see what.they expected at the time they made that decision,.that joint decision, and how it panned out,.how different that can be..I want to give you a couple of examples from.our research..There was a case where a lesbian couple who.were civilly partnered had a gay male friend.who agreed to donate sperm..He also said he didn't want to be particularly.involved, he didn't want to be a father..He was fine donating sperm but it wasn't his.ambition in life to be a father and so that.was agreed..However, things did change..But what changed was that the donor's mother.became seriously ill, in fact terminally ill..Because this was her only grandchild and the.only grandchild she was ever likely to know,.she wanted to form a relationship with the.child..So the couple introduced the infant to the.grandmother, the paternal grandmother, and.it made the last few months of her life so.much better..But in that process, the paternal grandfather.also became involved in the life of the child..When the grandmother died, the paternal grandfather.wanted to maintain that relationship with.the child..So somebody, perhaps nobody had thought of,.i.e., the donor's father, then became a very.close grandfather to the child in this instance..This wasn't what the couple had ever imagined.or anticipated..Luckily for them, they saw it as entirely.positive, because it was an additional grandfather.for their son..The second case I'm going to refer to is slightly.different..In this instance it was a lesbian couple,.and the person who agreed to donate sperm.was the partner of one their brothers..He didn't want to become a father either..He wasn't interested in becoming a father,.so he donated the sperm and one of the couple.became pregnant and she had the child..Unfortunately, her relationship broke down.and she was left in really difficult economic.circumstances..In that situation, what happened was her brother.became much more involved in the life of the.child..So it would never have been written into a.contract - nobody would have thought that.- but actually it worked extremely well..I think what we learn from the more sociological.perspective is: even if you've got a contract,.life changes things..You can't put things into a box, seal the.lid down and say 'nothing will change'..The other thing I think, too, that one needs.to recognise, is that if you’re thinking.of the child then it's a matter of, should.the child have these kinds of relationships.as well..The courts are now saying that the lesbian.mothers are the primary parents and the donor.father is a secondary parent..The recognition that lesbian parents are primary.parents does not however mean that the donor.father is not recognised by the courts..He's often seen to have a very, very important.role and the courts may well order extensive.contact, staying contact, allow the father.to take the children on holiday and so on,.depending, to some extent on what has been.built up over the years before..The conflicts that have ensued recently have.been very, very hostile ones..Of course, we get to hear about the hostile.ones because they go to court..But I don't want to end on a pessimistic note,.because certainly in our research and also.in terms of everyday knowledge, we know people.make these arrangements and they work really.well..This isn't meant to be a way of saying 'don’t.do this arrangement, don’t enter into these.contracts'..They can work extremely well..I think what we are learning from the research.and from the cases that are going to court,.you need to think very hard about entering.into these contracts..
