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Tips on completing the Family Law Form 12 980

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Steps of Customizing the Family Law Form 12 980

I'm glad you're here I'm sorry that.you're going through what you're going.through child custody issues probably.the hardest thing you could ever face.how do you get custody in a custody.dispute.[Music].child custody one of the most vexing.troubling emotionally taxing issues that.you could ever face as I have worked.with families who are dealing with this.troubling issue over the years I've.learned a few things that I want to pass.along to you because there are ways to.totally ruin your custody case and there.are ways that you can support it and.they might not be the things that you're.naturally inclined to do coming from my.experience of approximately 13 years as.a child custody evaluator for the courts.now think about this I'm the guy who got.asked by the judge to go in and sort all.of this out and see if I can figure out.how to split up these kids we don't want.to split them up you can't use Solomon's.sword and start chopping kids in half.this is a troubling issue for the.children because their world is.completely different from the parents.let me share with you what I mean by.that perspective if we look at the.child's perspective and incidentally as.a child custody evaluator my interest.was to look after the best interest of.the child that was my whole motivation I.want it to be good for you as parents.too.because when your life is good your.children's lives are good too.but when parents disagree about what.needs to happen about the kids and they.get into this angry war between each.other that puts the children in a very.difficult position here's what I mean.when mom and dad are together we can.represent the child's world with this.circle it's all nicely circumspect and.it's just tight it's that's the whole.world that they know right there when.mom and dad separate we draw another.circle over here now we've got two.worlds it's kind of like a cell that's.starting to split right but if we label.these two sites for example mom's world.and dad's world they're two very.different worlds and if you've gone.through a divorce you know exactly what.I'm talking about because that other.world is just different I use the word.different that's probably a really kind.way to put it because they get described.in very evil nasty terms - so we've got.mom's world and dad's world where are.the kids.right here right here in the middle of.those two worlds and think about that.for just a moment what if you were.between two warring Nations and you're.right here in the middle and they're.both you know shooting shots at each.other and we got all kinds of violence.going on I know I'm overstating that for.your case but maybe I'm not - and here's.the child right here in the middle.that's not safe and children don't feel.safe when they're in the middle of this.war that's going on I put together a.quick summary paper the five factors.that determine the outcome of divorce.for children this is a compilation of.factors that were identified originally.by dr. Elizabeth Ellis she wrote a book.called divorce wars I don't necessarily.think you need to go out and read that.book it's very it's a heavy book it's.thick and academic but I have condensed.from that five factors that she.identified that determine the outcome of.divorce for children there's a link in.the description below if you'd like to.get a PDF of those five factors take a.look at it here's the one that I want to.call to your attention.number one without even a close second.is conflict and that's exactly why right.there.conflict specifically conflict about the.children between the parents this is a.huge concern when we have a custody.dispute because what's the conflict over.the kids who's it between the parents.that.the number one factor that affects the.outcome of the divorce for the children.there's other factors too like economic.factors and the emotional stability of.the primary caretaker all of those kinds.of things come into play but conflict.between the parents is number one what.does that mean for you first of all.we've got to reduce the conflict as much.as we can or maybe a better way to say.that instead of reducing the conflict is.to appropriately handle the conflict and.find ways to solve problems that don't.involve putting the children in the.middle of a war zone now coming from the.perspective of a custody evaluator when.I got into these conflicted nasty.divorce situations where there's a lot.of conflict.my concern went up significantly for.that child and I started to look for.evidence that one parent or the other.hopefully both but that one parent or.the other could somehow appropriately.manage that conflict on behalf of their.children now this is a little.counterintuitive because you go into a.custody evaluators office and what do.you want to do you want to point out all.of the things that are nasty and wrong.and evil about that other parent as an.evaluator I just want you to know how.that sounds to me it sounds like oh I.better watch out for not the parent.you're describing the one that's doing.the describing because that raises the.level of conflict here I'm coming from.so the best thing you can do to help.your own case in my opinion as a custody.evaluator is to reduce the conflict and.to show that you are in position to.appropriately handle conflict and.problems without putting the children in.the middle of that okay now there's a.lot of practical things that you can do.along those lines but connect with that.for just a minute.so what can you do with that in mind.with that knowledge in mind that the.conflict is the biggest issue for the.children what can you do here's here's.the crux of the whole thing you guys you.create in your own world if your dad and.you're right here you create the most.sane stable loving environment possibly.can right here within the boundaries of.your own world the evaluators going to.see that okay now that also includes.creating an environment here and I'm.talking to dad's just because they're on.this side of the board mom if it's you.same thing okay you create the most sane.stable loving environment that you.possibly can that includes permission.for that child to fully love the other.parent and to be a part of their world.remember the kids world includes mom's.world and dad's world I've tucked them.right here in the middle but really they.belong in both worlds and they have to.transition in between both of them.regularly if you as a loving benevolent.parent can clear your own heart and mind.of animosity and bitterness and anger.and hate so that you can choose love in.another video that you can link to right.up here we talked about the love choice.the quick version is that every.interaction you have is going to follow.either on the love side or the hate side.when people get into a conflicted.custody dispute or a nasty divorce they.tend to choose hate which makes it worse.and increases the conflict it feels.counterintuitive to choose love that's.what I'm asking you to do to find it in.your own heart and mind to choose a.loving response even with and especially.when.that other spouse is being nasty it's.especially important then because if.everybody's choosing hate we got all.kinds of problems just a quick example I.had an opportunity to hear immaculee.Ilibagiza give a talk she is so amazing.she wrote a book called left to tell and.basically she's a survivor of the.Holocaust that happened in Rwanda the.genocide that was happening between the.Hutus and the Tutsis she was taken in by.a Hutu pastor who took compassion on her.he hid her in his bathroom.basically for 90 days his little three.foot by four foot bathroom and she was.in there were seven other women for.almost three months okay that in itself.is quite a story she could hear the.killing going on just outside the window.of this little bathroom that she was in.her whole family was exterminated in the.process if anyone has a reason to choose.hate I think she would her message is.one of love and forgiveness as she.realized in those circumstances that she.had to make that same choice.I can choose love or I can choose hate.and everything around her was pulling.her to the hate side because she chose.love she was able to put herself in.position.to free herself from the bitterness and.anger and animosity that would have.poisoned her life forever and instead.now she is an ambassador of love and.forgiveness what an inspiring story as.you go through this conflicted custody.situation or this nasty divorce you've.got the same choice you're going to.choose love or you're going to choose.hate I guarantee the hate choice will.make it worse for you for your kids for.everyone who loves you and cares about.you the only way I know to.prove your situation including your.chances in a custody case is to choose.love and to do that in such a genuine.way that the evaluator will see that and.realize that everything is pulling you.in that hate direction don't go there.it hurts kids not to mention what it.does to your life hopefully that's.helpful to you I want to throw in a.really quick little bonus because one of.our subscribers in the other video that.I did on this particular topic asked.well how do I prepare best for a home.study this is part of a custody.evaluation where the evaluator comes.into the home and does an assessment.make sure everything's adequate and.appropriate the standard is not real.high you guys you don't have to clean up.the whole house I go into places and.they have potpourri simmering on the.stove and freshly baked bread and I'm.like this is not real we can tell okay.be genuine be real be authentic don't.try to create something artificially for.that evaluator they want to see and feel.what the sense and the spirit and the.core of this home is so the best thing.you can do like I said earlier is to.choose love put yourself in a position.where you have the most sane level.stable loving environment that you.possibly can in your own home and that's.the quick version of how you're gonna.pass that home study it comes back to.the same principles I've shared with you.something today that very few people who.are going through a custody evaluation.understand I'm glad that you do you can.be part of an amazing change thanks for.being here.[Music].

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Family Law Form 12 980 FAQs

Note answers to questions about Family Law Form 12 980 . View the most useful topics and more.

Need help? Contact support

How can you get your family doctor to fill out a disability form?

Of course you should ask to be referred to a psychologist! You said yourself that you have social anxiety disorder and depression and those are things that need to be resolved if you want a better life. Do your very best to make that disability assistance a temporary measure.

How do we know the eligibility to fill out Form 12 BB?

Every year as a salaried employee many of you must have fill Form 12BB, but did you ever bothered to know its purpose. Don’t know ?? It is indispensable for both, you and your employer. With the help of Form 12BB, you will be able to figure out how much income tax is to be deducted from your monthly pay. Further, with the help of Form 12BB, you will be in relief at the time of filing returns as at that time you will not have to pay anything due to correct TDS deduction. So, before filing such important form keep the below listed things in your mind so that you may live a tax hassle free life. For More Information:- 7 key points which must be known before filling Form 12BB

What percentage is needed in 12 class to apply for the NDA exam?

The answer is they don’t need any percentage you can apply even if you get 33% and you can apply if you get 99% too. The fact is percentage doesn’t matter in any upsc exam nor they mention in therefore you can apply with any percentage you got in class 12

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